


any kind of guy (turn myself upside down)

by greeneyesontheroad



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 06:48:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneyesontheroad/pseuds/greeneyesontheroad
Summary: in all his years of living, donghyuck has never been a person who knows about limits.





	any kind of guy (turn myself upside down)

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiii. i've been binge writing bullshit what a surprise
> 
> this took FOREVER and is also known as the "MY BOYFRIEND GOES TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL SO YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW HIM BUT HE'S CoOL" angsty teen version au by my friend D
> 
> title taken from big time rush's song by the same name because i wrote this listening to it so yeahhhh
> 
> also! keep in mind english is not my first language!

in all his years of living, donghyuck has never been a person who knows about _limits_.  
  
he's all kinds of reckless, but in fact this has more to do with his need of peer validation. jaemin always tells him there's no better way of getting it than just being himself, but why would donghyuck want to be just old, boring him when he can be all his friends want from him?

(or at least he thinks they want) 

 

-  
  
it all starts on a thursday, when donghyuck is sitting at his usual lunch table with jeno.  
  
see, even though jeno has been part of his group of friends since, like, ever, he's one of the least close to donghyuck. that probably has to do with the way he always gets to his nerves.  
  
"so..." jeno speaks up, leaving his phone on the table, "who's your homecoming date?"  
  
donghyuck pauses, phone in one hand and a fork mid-way to his mouth in the other. "hm? are we going to homecoming?" he says nonchalantly. he knows the answer already.  
  
"well, yeah? at least i am? i invited nana and he said yes, duh" and there goes that unnerving smile, the one that makes donghyuck feel uneasy.  
  
he smiles tightly, "yeah! i had forgotten, how silly of me"  
  
donghyuck tries to convey the feeling of being done with the conversation by concentrating on his phone, but jeno is not good at catching cues.   
  
"does that mean you don't have a date?" he pauses, a french fry dangling from his mouth, "i could say i'm surprised, but not really. you aren't even that kind of guy" he says thoughtfully.  
  
donghyuck ears perk at that, "what does that even mean, jeno?" the tone he uses is kind of mean but what the hell?  
       
jeno, the little shit, has the audacity to laugh, "don't sweat it, man! it means that you're not the type of guy who goes to homecoming, and definitely no the guy who gets asked to go with somebody" he shrugs easily as if he hadn't said the most douchey thing ever. donghyuck seriously doesn't understand how they are even friends.  
  
"what the hell, bro." he hisses, phone long forgotten and anger making his blood boil, "let me tell you just how wrong you are! like, i'm not only going but my date is the coolest guy ever. _the coolest_ " his ears are red and his heart is hammering in his chest.  
  
"what, really? who is he?" jeno sounds actually surprised, the little bitch.  
  
"my boyfriend, he's a college student. you obviously don't know him" in the back of his mind, there are some signs of danger and a little voice telling him to stop before this gets out of hand and he ends doing something stupid, but his pride lets him say the lie easily, smirking confidently.  
  
"your what? when did you get yourself a boyfriend? _a college student one_?" jeno is frowning, as if he doesn't believe a word, donghyuck hates him.  
  
"why do you sound so surprised? it's not like i tell you everything i do"  
  
jeno shrugs again, suddenly blinding him with a smile "that's great, bro"  
  
donghyuck can feel the proudness in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his body, _yeah, that's great_.  
  
and that's exactly the moment jaemin and renjun finally get to their table.   
  
"hi guys! what's great?" and just like that, donghyuck deflates completely. oh no.  
  
"babe!" if donghyuck didn't hate him, he'd think it's cute just how jeno changes from confident douche to puppy in love with jaemin's mere presence. but he does hate him, so fuck that guy. "donghyuck was telling me about his college boyfriend"  
  
"his _what_?" both jaemin and renjun say at the same time, confused twin frowns on their faces.  
  
oh yeah, those were the alarms echoing in his head earlier. he was lying to his best friend's boyfriend, so of course his best friend was going to find out.  
  
it's okay, nothing to worry about.  
  
"yeah," donghyuck answers quickly, a smile plastered to his face as if he wasn't suddenly wishing earth would swallow him without leaving a trace, "my boy...friend"  
  
"hyuck! since when?!" jaemin says happily, eyes shining.  
  
"more like, who?" renjun asks, still frowning.  
  
from there, it feels like an outer body experience. he's there when jeno tells them all about donghyuck's cool college boyfriend and how he's going to take him to the homecoming. jaemin squeaks happily and renjun just nods, but donghyuck's mind is absent, racing trying to find a way to get out of there as quick as possible.  
  
when renjun asks what's his supposed boyfriend's name, just when lunch is over, donghyuck panics and _then_ is when he makes the worst mistake ever.  
  
in his defense, it happens because he was about to throw up, his thoughts were out of control and was given seconds to think a convincing lie, and mark just happened to have sent him a message at the moment.  
  
"mark" he says in a breath, more red alerts going wild inside his head "mark lee"  
  
jaemin shrieks.  
  
"hyuck, what! _the_ mark lee? the one you've been crushing on since ever?!"  
  
and that's the exact moment when donghyuck knows, he fucked up.

 

-  
  
donghyuck has had a lot of times when he has actually thought he has gone too far: when he pierced his nose because he told renjun his mother was totally chill and he could do whatever he wanted without getting in trouble (and oh lord, his mother whooped his ass so hard that time), when he stole his dad's car so he could go to that jisung kid's party because he told jeno his father would lend it to him without problem, or the time he used a year worth of his savings to get them all in a club because he told the boys he was friends with the owner and they wouldn't have any problem getting there even if they're all minors.  
  
and he knows just how bad is to lie, and knows that the boys are his friends and they like him for who he is. the thing is he doesn't like letting them down, doesn't like to be just _donghyuck_.  
  
but considering all of those times where he did dubious things, when he got himself in enormous quantities of problems, he thinks that lying about mark is easily one of the worst lies he has told.  
  
of fucking course he chose mark lee.  
  
between all the people in the world, he chose fucking mark lee with who he's not even friends. in fact, they're probably not even acquaintances. just two people who sometimes talk about video games and the weather.  
  
hell, he wouldn't even have his number if it wasn't from that stupid group chat the art club used to have.   
  
and yet, mark had the perfect timing to accidentally get all tangled in his web of lies.  
  
the worst about this is, jaemin is right. donghyuck does have a crush on mark lee.  
  
and not a normal crush, a _oh he's cool_ crush. this crush is a big fat one, the kind of crush that overwhelms you and makes you feel sick and happy and numbs your hands and lips.   
  
so now, donghyuck is caught in the middle of a predicament: his lie got exactly the way his mind was screaming him to be careful about: out of his hands.  
  
he's sitting on his bed, phone in his hands, when he reads the dumb message that is the reason why now he's about to do the most tragic thing ever.  
  
he's going to ask his crush to pretend to be his boyfriend on homecoming night.  
  
(and yeah, he's scared, his stomach is full of angry bats- yes, not butterflies- and his hands are trembling and sweating but he's willing to go to any extreme just to not let his friends down)  
**  
mark lee 2:03 p.m**  
ITS OUT !!!!  
  
ah yeah, of course mark would find himself being part of donghyuck's last bullshit because he was excited about a new computer game.  
  
his hands feel like jelly and so does his brain, when he starts typing his answer.

  
  
**donghyuck 5:28 p.m**  
                                                                                          haha ! so cool ! ill take a look later  
                                                                             actually i.. k..ind..a need somethng from u  
                                                                                             sprry i knw this is super rnadom  
                                                                                                                                  random*

  
  
**mark lee 5:29 p.m**  
sure bro whts wrong ?  
  


oh god, everything is wrong. donghyuck feels his fingers typing but he just keeps erasing the message, too afraid to say something else.

  
  
                                                                                                           **donghyuck 5:54 p.m**  
                                                                first of all im truly sorry n if u feel weird just tell me 

                                                                                     i kinda said... somethng to my friends  
                                                                                n it had to do w/ u AND im SUPER sorry  
            long story short i need u to pretend ur my boyfriend and go to homecoming with me  
                                                                                                                              IM SORRY

  
  
**mark lee 6:07 p.m**  
bro what  
how did that happen ?  
 

  
well, that's not a no but still not a yes and donghyuck's poor heart is out of control.

  
  
                                                                                                              **donghyuck 6:12 p.m**  
                                         are you busy 2morrow? i can explain it all to u in person if u want

  
  
**mark lee 6:15 p.m**  
lol sure  
now i'm curious !  
see you tomorrow @4 in the caffee close to school? 

  
  
donghyuck shrieks, mark lee is literally an angel and he doesn't deserve to give stupid, careless him the gift of his time.

  
  
                                                                                                              **donghyuck 6:17 p.m**  
                                                                                                                      sure!!!!!! thank u  
                                                                                                                                    see ya 

  
  
and, even though he feels all kinds of nervous and bad about this, he's positive mark's not going to let him down.

 

  
-  
  
if he was nervous the night before, donghyuck is a heartbeat away from death while he waits for mark that evening.  
  
all things considered, he was pretty bold yesterday, so go him! now he has used all his courage and has to face mark lee while feeling like trash and simultaneously the luckiest guy in the world because, what the hell! mark lee is coming to meet him.  
  
not the way he dreamed it would be, with mark and him meeting for their first date in the arcade so they could joke and get to know each other better but, okay he has to be grateful mark's even thinking about contributing to his stupid lies. that guy is probably a saint.  
  
donghyuck gets so distracted thinking about how exactly he's going to phrase his explanation that he doesn't notice mark entering the little shop.  
  
he receives a text.  
  
**mark lee 4:13 p.m**  
i'm @ the caffee already !  
  
and when donghyuck looks up, there is mark, standing awkwardly by the glass door.  
  
he looks so good, donghyuck's palms start sweating. his hair is different from the last time donghyuck saw him walking down the corridors of the school last year, now it's a brighter shade of brown, cut in a stylish way. he still looks as handsome, as lovely as he did last year.  
  
he clears his throat and raises his hand so mark can see him.  
  
a few seconds later, mark looks directly at him. but that's all he does.  
  
he stares and stares, mouth a little agape.  
  
donghyuck frowns, clears his throat again "mark?" he calls loudly, so mark can hear him. mark blinks, awkwardly walks to his table.  
  
he opens his mouth, then promptly closes it.  
  
donghyuck freaks out, what in the world is happening why is mark lee looking at him like that? oh god, did he realize just how of a scum is he and is going to tell him to fuck off? is he angry? is he going to tell everybody? is he-  
  
"uhm. hi? are you donghyuck?" mark says, his voice full of doubt.  
  
"hi!" he answers dumbly, voice cracking. dammit. "i- yeah? that's me" he tries to smile because even though he's super nervous and ashamed, he can only imagine just how weird this meeting is to mark.  
  
"oh" mark says "i didn't know it was... you" he murmurs, then smiles brightly "hi!"   
  
donghyuck stays dumbfounded, mark's smile distracting him a lot.  
  
he takes a deep breath, already wanting this humiliation to be over.  
  
when mark takes a seat, donghyuck starts immediately.  
  
"okay so, i know i already told you but i need your help because i need you to pretend to be my boyfriend and go with me to homecoming next saturday because i lied to my friends about having someone to go with and, yeah i know you'll be wondering "but donghyuck, why does it has to be me?" well the reason is that you happened to send me that message about that video game and i was dumb enough to think it was a good idea to use your name to make my bullshit more credible and, have i told you i'm like, super sorry? because i am, please don't hate me and tell everybody i'm the definition of trash" he finishes quickly, doing jazz hands to give it some dramatism, as if it needed more of it.  
  
mark stays silent for a few seconds and then promptly starts laughing.  
  
and, don't get him wrong, donghyuck thinks mark's laugh is the most precious song ever but, is he laughing at him? is this how he dies? with his crush laughing at his face because he's a mess?  
  
"i'm sorry!" mark says between chuckles "this is so funny! oh god!"   
  
donghyuck smiles crookedly, trying to calm himself while he waits for mark to stop.  
  
"you know, i was going to help you just because i felt like it, but now i'm gonna help you because i think it's super funny how i had _that_ perfect timing"   
  
the world seems to stop for a second, the sky is suddenly brighter and donghyuck swears birds start chirping "you will? oh my god thank you! you're an angel! i owe you my life!" donghyuck practically screams, all smiles.  
  
mark laughs again, "you could pay me with a milkshake right now though! like, if we are gonna do this shouldn't we get to know each other?"  
  
donghyuck is surprised by mark's forwardness. he feels himself flush a little.  
  
now that the worst is over and mark actually agreed to help him, he feels nervous again. but this time it's the good type of nervous.  
  
he nods, "what's your favorite flavor?"  
  
mark smiles, "it's vanilla, boyfriend"  
  
donghyuck's soul has left his body by the end of the phrase.  


  
-  
  
donghyuck is a busy man, but he always has time for his traditional sunday date with jaemin.  
  
since jaemin is dating jeno, their tradition has been a little flexible, because donghyuck understands he can't monopolize jaemin's attention, but he feels extra special when jaemin calls him in the morning of a sunday to tell him at what time he's picking him up.  
  
after his meeting with mark ("so this is our first date! you are totally allowed to call me hyung from now on" is what mark said) he feels kind of in need of a hug, but that probably has to do with just how wrong he feels for fooling his friends like this. so when jaemin calls him to tell him they're going to the mall, he feels torn between happy and guilty.  
  
the thing with this specific lie is that is not like the others because those were inconsequential, he did something and that was it (well, with the piercing one, now he has a little hoop decorating his nose but, that's still not that important) but with this one he feels as if he's playing with too many things at once; his feelings, mark's time, and he's making his friends believe it all. and, what comes after homecoming? what's he going to tell them after it?  
  
sitting at the food court with jaemin, donghyuck feels like he needs to tell him the truth _so_ badly.  
  
jaemin is eating a churro, chocolate all over his mouth. donghyuck takes a napkin to clean him.  
  
"nana, you're so messy" he says, shaking his head.  
  
jaemin laughs, "and you're so sweet. one time i heard mark lee likes sweet and cute things. you're totally both, hyuck! i bet you drive him crazy"  
  
donghyuck swallows thickly "yeah..."  
  
"but i gotta admit, i'm a bit hurt. how's this jeno knew before i did? how did you two get together?" jaemin asks, good natured and obviously curious.  
  
donghyuck feels like he's trying to squeeze the lie out of him, "uh... we... like- it was kinda something that just happened? we liked each other and we got together. like you knew we talked occasionally because of that group chat and stuff"   
  
jaemin has his face between his hands, listening carefully. he nods solemnly. "you know? jeno said you were lying. but he's so dumb. i know you're not lying because you got that look in your face. so smitten" he takes donghyuck hand in his, still dirty with chocolate "i'm really happy for you hyuck! i hope he knows i'll make jeno kick his ass if he makes you cry"   
  
when they say goodbye, donghyuck feels sick with himself for lying at jaemin's face as if it was nothing, and he feels sicker with himself because he still feels incapable of telling the truth and letting them down, like if he wouldn't do exactly the same when they find out.  


  
-  


this executive arrangement with mark lee has its perks.  
  
for one, mark and him have been really working on knowing each other and have hung out three times since last friday.  
  
donghyuck feels like this agreement is a terrible idea because if his crush was wild without really _knowing_ mark, now he knows there's no way back, because mark is easily the best guy to ever exist.  
  
like, he's not only sweet, but he's also very smart and passionate and just as jaemin said, he loves cute things. he's humble and hardworking and they have so many things in common. it feels like they've been friends forever.  
  
on thursday, mark asks him to hang out and donghyuck has to physically stop himself from seeming too eager.  
  
mark takes him to his college dorm because he has some stuff to do, so they order some take out and donghyuck watches mark work diligently.  
  
"where's your roommate?" donghyuck asks from mark’s bed, where he's eating a slice of pizza.  
  
he feels a little dizzy every time mark turns to look at him, he looks so pretty today, it's not fair to his poor heart.  
  
"ah, taeyong hyung is out with his boyfriend, he's not coming back today. so i have the dorm for me the whole night"    
  
donghyuck hums, thinking about running his hands through mark’s soft hair. "that sounds so cool, i love the idea of living in a dorm, but i feel like sometimes you need privacy"  
  
mark sighs and closes his book "god i'm finally done. and no! i actually miss him a lot when he's gone. it's like, i feel alone when he's not here... which makes me think, do you have to go back to your house tonight? do you want to stay here?"  
  
donghyuck knows mark says this in a friendly way, because now they're friends, but he can't help the way his heart stars trying to jump out of his chest with the mere idea. "i-i think so... can you drive me tomorrow to school? i mean, it’ll still be friday. but if you can't then don't worry!" he rants "i'll just keep it a secret!"  
  
mark looks at him, a soft smile on his face " i can, don't worry. you're so cute when you get like that, all flustered"  
  
donghyuck's brain stops functioning altogether. "uhm"  
  
mark chuckles "just call your mom. i'll choose a movie!"

  
  
-   


when you wake up in a strange room, the first thing one would think is at least an _oh no._  
  
the first thing donghyuck thinks the morning after that movie marathon with mark is _oh yes._  
  
he wakes up all tangled with mark, cuddling on the floor because mark's bed is super small but mark felt uncomfortable laying on taeyong's bed ("no hyuck, you don't understand! one time i came here and ten hyung was about to go down on taeyong hyung there and now it makes me feel weird")  
  
and all he knows is, he likes mark _so_ much.

  
he likes his messy hair and his eyes and his pretty hands and lips and likes how he prefers strawberry over chocolate but still none of them are his favorite or how he gets kind of confused with korean slang because he's canadian and is still learning and likes how he's always ready to give a hand and, he knows he's still getting to know him and wouldn't dare to say he's in love with him, but he's getting there because mark is someone who's worthy of all the love and good things in the world.  
  
mark wakes up a little later than seven, and he scrambles to get ready so he can take donghyuck to school.   
  
he leaves him at the gates of the school very late but it's okay because he absentmindedly kisses donghyuck's cheek and wishes him a good day.  
  
and how could he not have a good day? with mark's kiss making his cheek burn and his heart race.  


  
-  


on homecoming night, mark goes to donghyuck's house at seven thirty, as they planned and, oh god, donghyuck thought he was ready to see mark all dressed up, but nothing could prepare him for how good he looks.  
  
when marks sees him, he smiles one of his thousand watts smiles "you look so handsome" he says honestly, and donghyuck feels like christmas came early.  
  
"thank you" he whispers, suddenly shy.  
  
donghyuck's mom makes them take like a million pictures and donghyuck feels super ashamed but mark hugs him exactly how his mom told him to and whispers "don't worry, i've been there and your mom isn't nearly as embarrassing as you think, babe"  
  
is the endearment what does the trick.  
  
when they're finally in the car, donghyuck's heart is out of control. this is the night he shows mark to his friends.   
  
he knows that now, even after tonight, mark's not going to disappear from his life, because now they're friends. but he still feels really sad because he wonders how will mark change later. and they guilt and shame are still there, those have never left.  
  
"you changed your nose ring" mark says suddenly, interrupting the silence, "it looks super pretty"  
  
donghyuck flushes "thank you"  
  
"don't be afraid, hyuck. i'm here to help you all the way, 'til the end"   
  
and donghyuck believes him, because mark’s like that. a great guy who wouldn't let him down. he feels sick.  
  
mark moves his hand and for a split of a second donghyuck actually believes he's going to take his hand. but then he leaves it over the console and donghyuck understands. why would mark want to hold a liars hand? he's a great guy after all.  


  
-  


homecoming is fun.  
  
the music is great and the gym is nicely decorated.  
  
donghyuck's friends are all looking good, jeno and jaemin are dressing with combined pale pink ties, and renjun got a haircut.  
  
they all shriek when mark and him go to their table.  
  
donghyuck knew it would be like this. his friends are super excited about mark, especially jaemin.  
  
and it feels super cool, to no have let them down. but it feels awful that it is a lie and that mark is contributing to it.  
  
his friends ask him about how did they meet and how did they end up together and donghyuck is scared mark will say something that doesn't match with what he said, but mark does good and everything goes as planned and every second donghyuck is more done with himself.  
  
"okay and what about your first kiss? hyuck had never had a boyfriend until you, did you know that? and you were his crush for the longest time!" jaemin says, always the romantic one.  
  
and, oh. that wasn't something he thought could happen.  
  
he pales. no no no no no. his heart sinks to his stomach and his hands start sweating, ears red. "nana! why would you even say that!" he tries to laugh. he has to do something quickly.  
  
"ah! there's nothing to worry about! you're together now so it isn't embarrassing!" he says frowning. jeno and renjun nod, all serious faces.  
  
"isn't it?" jaemin finishes. a foreign glint in his eyes.  
  
donghyuck can't think, let alone speak. oh god they're going to catch him, his lie is about to be exposed and mark? mark the great guy is going to be exposed and he's about to die.  
  
mark raises his eyebrows, obviously surprised "what? is it true?"  
  
donghyuck shakes his head quickly, "no- i mean i- mark this isn't-"   
  
"don't be dumb, donghyuck. you don't need to deny it!" jeno exclaims. god, is there going to be a time in donghyuck's life when jeno doesn't make it difficult?  
  
"shut up, jeno" donghyuck says quickly. there's a lump in his throat the size of jupiter. "mark..."  
  
"you didn't tell me, hyuck" mark's words are not harsh and his face is neutral but they feel heavy on donghyuck's heart.  
  
mark doesn't say anything else, just stares at him and now the air is tense.  
  
under mark's sight, donghyuck can't do anything else than zone out. he thinks about all his mistakes and now he's numb. of course this went wrong, there were too many variables, too many things happening at once.  
  
renjun coughs "is everything... fine?"  
  
as if snapped out of a daze, mark looks at renjun like a deer and schools his expression quickly, he clears his throat, "yeah! i'm sorry i just was so shocked!" he laughs easily. this is what he made of mark; a liar. "i actually think is sweet. you should have told me, hyuck"   
  
donghyuck sees mark take his hand. he can't feel anything but his blood rushing to his ears.  
  
jaemin makes a noise "i don't approve, hyuck. a relationship can't have secrets nor be based in lies!" and donghyuck _knows_ jaemin didn't say it with the goal of making him suffer, but the words hit him so hard that he loses his breath. a hot, ugly feeling crawling from his head to his toes. 

renjun and jeno nod, again all serious.  
  
the dj puts a slow song and jeno takes jaemin to dance, obviously done with all the talking.  
  
renjun busies himself with his phone and mark starts playing with his cup of soda.  
  
a little while passes and the table is silent. then, donghyuck finally recovers all his senses.  
  
he can see jeno and jaemin dancing sweetly in the dance floor, and they're so in love it's sickening. watching them kiss is gross, but donghyuck wants that with mark.  
  
and again he feels sick, so sick he thinks he could throw up. he needs to end this. needs to tell the truth.  
  
he grabs mark by the forearm and all but drags him all the way to the men's bathroom.  
  
mark is obviously bewildered, "what! hyuck what the hell?"  
  
"this needs to stop" donghyuck says in a breath. "i can't do it anymore i can't lie to them anymore i'm totally done"  
  
mark looks at him very seriously, "so go and tell them hyuck"   
  
"i can't" his head's spinning and his eyes sting and he needs to say something but he just can't.  
  
"what's stopping you? you know when i agreed to do this i didn't ask why but... why? why did you lie to them?" mark sounds a little disappointed and donghyuck can't say he'd expected different, he's disappointed at himself.  
  
"i-" and when he takes a deep breath, he feels like something inside of him breaks. "i-"   
  
suddenly, mark hugs him tight "keep breathing, what's wrong? don't cry. it's okay!"   
  
"i'm not crying!" donghyuck says because his eyes sting and his nose does too but he will not cry "i'm just so scared of letting them down, mark. i want them to always be happy and to always love me but i lie to them so much, i'm trash you know. i'm so sorry, mark"  
  
mark opens his mouth to say something, "no wait, i'm not done. i'm so scared the real me will bore them? i don't know i just want to be this exciting and cool guy but i'm not so i have to fake it and i hate it but i can't stop it and i don't know what to do anymore"   
  
"donghyuck, haven't you thought that the most exciting guy you can be, is yourself?" mark says softly and quickly, as if he's scared he's going to break him.  
  
donghyuck doesn't cry, but they stand there, holding each other for a long, long time.  
  
"wanna hear a secret?" mark says suddenly, donghyuck nods. "when i was still in school, you _were_ my crush. like, i didn't know you that well but i did know some things about you and you are oh so handsome, i kinda had a big crush on you and then, when we started talking through message i didn't even know it was you! i was so shocked when we met at the coffee shop. and so happy. you have no idea"  
  
to say donghyuck is dumbfounded is an understatement at this point "so i got to know you" mark continues "and you're just so amazing, donghyuck! so, so amazing. and i, man, i like you a lot, y'know? a whole lot, and i like you without any lie or any pretend. i just like you for who you are right now, right here"  
  
donghyuck is speechless. mark's eyes are so sincere, so open. and for a moment, he believes him.  
  
"do you really-"  
  
"yes! yes! you're the best because you are you, not because you pretend to be something you're not, don't you think your friends think the same?"   
  
and okay, now donghyuck does cry.  
  
there's also this feeling, though. the raw need, the urgency. the utter desire to just kiss mark to his heart's content. to touch him intimately and make him feel everything mark just made him feel. the sweetness, the comfort. donghyuck wishes he could make mark feel just how safe and warm and _wanted_ he just made him feel.  
  
it's kind of unbelievable, that he's even capable of doing something so brave when he feels like his life is over, but mark is so wonderful standing there in front of him, so close and so... real. so, he puts his hands on mark's soft cheeks, heart beating fast. he closes his eyes and, in a breath, takes mark's lips in his. they're soft and shiny with chapstick. tasting like cocoa.  
  
he kisses him thankful, because mark is so amazing. he kisses him needy, because he has been _dying_ to kiss mark like this, to feel him close to him. he kisses mark possessively, because he wishes with all his heart for mark to be his, really his. he kisses mark with love, because without any doubt he's falling in love with him.  
  
and the best thing? mark kisses him back with just as much passion. and it's amazing to think about mark liking him. _him_. boring donghyuck with a need to please bigger than his good judgement.

when they pull apart, donghyuck feels unable to open his eyes. his cheeks hot and hands sweaty, “ah” mark sighs “you’re so pretty, fuck” and kisses him again.

they keep kissing for a while, until someone knocks the door loudly, “c’mon! you’ve been there for like half an hour!” the stranger outside shouts.

donghyuck giggles and finally opens his eyes. now mark’s dumbly combing his hair with his hands in front of the mirror. lips red and a little swollen. “you just stolen my first kiss” he comments, making a vague hand gesture.

mark looks at him all big eyes through the mirror “no way that was your first! And you gave it to me!” he says looking utterly surprised.

“what!” and just like that, even if the air feels electric and donghyuck could keep kissing mark like that forever and then some more, the mood gets lighter.

mark smiles at him, all charming. he goes to donghyuck to help him with his hair “I got too excited and now your hair looks weird. but worry not! I, your knight in a… suit will save the day”

donghyuck laughs again, eyes twinkling.

“are you” mark says, caressing donghyuck’s neck softly now that he’s done with his hair “going to tell them?”

and donghyuck gets paralyzed. of course, the lie.

he can’t.

he tries to picture himself going out right now, walking to their table and telling the truth to his friends. his stomach gets in a knot.

his face must say it all, though, because the corners of his mouth go slightly downwards. “it’s okay, donghyuck. we have to work on it. and I’ll still help you ‘til the end”

mark’s obviously disappointed but it sounds like a promise.

donghyuck takes mark’s hand in his. he promises to himself that he’s not going to let mark down. he’s not going to let any of them down.

 

-  


the rest of the homecoming is still great.

even if donghyuck spends the time thinking about what’s he going to do next and how’s he going to solve this problem, it is objectively great.

after they finally leave the bathroom hand in hand and go back to the table, donghyuck’s friends tease them and then mark takes him to dance and. it is cool. he has a good time.  
  
when it’s over, mark takes him to his house “did you have fun?” he asks when they park outside.

“I did” donghyuck answers, “and I’m so-“

“let’s not do that!” mark interrupts him hands raised, “please don’t say you are sorry, hyuck. I had a very fun time too”

donghyuck presses his lips together, “thank you so much for today” he says instead, feeling awkward.

“don’t worry, hyuck” and a few seconds pass before mark gets over the central console of his car and takes donghyuck’s face in his hands “I like you a lot, donghyuck” he says again, like he said in the bathroom. he kisses the corner of donghyuck’s mouth.

when donghyuck gets out of the car, after mark kisses him senseless, he starts pondering.

it takes him until he’s already showered, all dressed up in his pajamas to make the decision.

he sends a message to jaemin.

 

 

**donghyuck 3:09 a.m**

hey nana

can we have one of our sundays tmrrw?

 

he doesn’t even wait for jaemin’s answer, just goes to sleep and tries to mentally prepare himself for what he’s going to do.

 

- 

sitting in the food court at the mall with jaemin feels like a déjà vu. only this time jaemin is eating ice cream.

donghyuck’s been quiet since jaemin went for him earlier, but he can see jaemin’s making an effort to not pressure him.

he needs to do this, he needs to tell jaemin the truth.

“nana i-“ his tongue gets tied.

he’s about to chicken out when he suddenly remembers the disappointment on mark’s face. “nana I’m not dating mark”

there, he said it.

and the world didn’t end.

he takes a deep breath, lungs suddenly able to function without any strange pressure. he said it and the world keeps spinning. the sun keeps shining. jaemin is still sitting in front of him peacefully eating his strawberry ice cream, some syrup making his hand dirty.

“I know, hyuck” jaemin answers, licking his hand clean.

but donghyuck can’t hear him over the sound of relief, “and while we’re at it” he continues, mind racing “my mom’s _not cool_ with this piercing. my dad would _never_ lend me his car voluntarily. I _don’t_ know the owner of that club we went in summer. I _did_ cry seven times watching wreck it ralph. my iq _isn’t_ 150\. I-“ and he continues just telling the truth.

every little thing he can remember, he says it. he ends up confessing the dumbest, most insignificant things.

but it feels so good to say it. to lay himself bare to jaemin. it’s like a weight was taken off his shoulders.

when he’s finished, jaemin’s also finished with his ice cream, now he’s just listening to him.

“I know, hyuck” he repeats a few seconds later, when he’s sure donghyuck is really done, “honestly I knew all that”

“then why? why do you put up with me? I mean plain me. liar me” donghyuck hears himself saying.

“hyuck, everybody lies. and everybody has their way of dealing with insecurities. I wish you could understand we like you for who you are”

the relief is so intense that it washed over donghyuck like a tidal wave. “do you really?” he asks.

“hyuck. me, jeno and renjun have known all of this since forever, and I’m telling you. it’s not okay because it’s not good to lie and all that but, we understand”

it’s rare to see jaemin so serious about something when he’s usually so bright and playful, “thank you” is all donghyuck can say, truly grateful.

“I wish you wouldn-“

“I will not. never again” donghyuck promises. he’s totally done with pretending.

jaemin gets over the table and quickly kisses his cheeks, “aw I love you, bro. I could feel the angst radiating from you via text, it got me feeling kinda angsty too” jaemin teases, as if he hadn’t just had the most emotionally draining conversation ever with donghyuck.

donghyuck laughs, his body feels totally boneless, ready to collapse. “wait. how did you know about mark?” he asks, because he’s genuinely curious.

jaemin giggles “I had my suspicious since the beginning. but it was all thanks to my boyfriend’s contacts”

donghyuck groans “oh my god, what did he _do_ ”

“he’s friends with yukhei from the dance club. who’s friends with mark and guess? mark told him all, probably because he didn’t think yukhei knew any of us. I felt like a detective trying to coax the information out of him!”

they both laugh and, donghyuck thinks that it feels really nice to be on a sunday with jaemin like this: carefree and silly.

even if jaemin took it like this, all good natured and didn’t judge him, he vows to never hurt their friendship again.

 

-

 

when jaemin leaves him at his house, donghyuck sends a quick text to mark asking if he’s free. not even twenty minutes later mark’s standing by his front door.

today, he’s dressed in the cutest overalls donghyuck has ever seen, hair messy from the wind.

donghyuck wants to kiss him until his lips hurt.

“I’m not going to disappoint you anymore” he says instead. then takes him by one of the straps of his overall and pulls him inside. “I’m sorry” he says as he closes the door. “I like you so much, mark. please like me for me” he pleas and finally kisses him.

mark gasps in surprise but without hesitance puts his arms around donghyuck’s waist, “I do” he says between wet kisses “I like you for you, so much”

they pull apart with ragged breaths, all red ears and heaving chests.

“what happened?” mark asks softly, back still against the door.

“I told jaemin the truth”

mark opens his mouth in surprise and hugs him tight without a word.

“it went well” donghyuck says “I’m tired of pretending” he shrugs in marks embrace.

mark kisses his cheek, “I’m very proud, you know. I told you I’d be like that”

donghyuck smiles with his mouth closed, squishy cheeks in display and shrugs again.

“date me” mark says leaning his forehead on donghyuck’s “date me for real”

donghyuck flushes, cheeks and ears warm. he nods.

mark takes his hand and drags him to his car, asking him if he’d prefer going to the arcade or playing bowling and then proceeds to announce they’ll do both.

in hindsight is strange, so tremendously unbelievable to have mark there. so rare to think that mark lee helped him to build the confidence to take the first step to leave behind his insecurities, to be true to himself.

he feels happy, watching mark drive, to share his true self with mark, who’s one of the most wonderful people he’s had the luck to meet.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING THIS! I certainly hope you liked it and (gentle reminder of the day) always be true to yourself! that's the best person you can be! 
> 
> kudos and comments make me super happy because i love to see opinions uwu !


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